Cheating

In recent celebrity news, Amber Rose is filing for divorce from rapper Wiz Khalifa. The alleged reason for filing a divorce is that he cheated on her. I’m not sure how she found out or all the details about it.  What I do know is that she’s had enough. When someone files for a divorce, they are done and there’s looking back.  

Some people when they find out that their partner is cheating on them, they either look the other way or end the relationship. I don't know what's right or wrong however I do believe you have to do what's best for you in the long run. Here is a little scenario: A woman hires a Private Investigator ("PI") to follow her husband around for several months because said woman has a feeling that her husband is cheating on her. Months go by and the PI continues to collect and give information to the woman. The woman ends up not doing anything with the information. The husband continues to cheat on her and she’s miserable. 

Why hire a PI to get information and not do anything about it? You hired a PI to confirm your feeling? It’s like buy a car and letting it sitting in your driveway. It’s like buying food and letting it go to waste. You just wasted money, time and energy for nothing. If you’re going to hire a PI, do something. Follow through. If you don’t follow through, then you’re the one that’s miserable while the cheater is having a great time. 

So what do you do with that information? Do you hold on to the information and hope that he will stop cheating and that marriage or relationship will get better? Or do you confront him with the information?  Or do you confront the mistress? Or catch him in the act of cheating? 

Holding on to information - What is the point of that? All you're doing is hurting yourself. Obviously your gut was right. You hired the PI to get you the information and now it's time to make a choice. Continue in the marriage or relationship that's making you sad and depress or get a divorce/end the relationship? Let's be honest, if you're getting cheated on then you're relationship is suffering and you couldn't possibly be happy. Obviously there is a big crack in the relationship and the "crack" is not being addressed. Start by making a choice that is right for YOU and no one else. 

Confronting the cheater - You confront the cheater and the cheater denies it or admits it and begs for forgiveness. And because you don't want to become another statistic of divorce or because you think you love the person and you're use to them being around, then you decide to forgive the cheater. And for a while things are ok may be even great but then the cheater is back to his old ways. I don't believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater." I think if a person continues to cheat is because the cheated is not enough for the cheater. The cheated is lacking something and at the end of the day the cheated will never be able to good enough or sufficient enough for the cheater. Again, start making a choice that is right for YOU and no one else. 

Confronting the mistress/ Other person - Honestly, what’s the point of confronting the other person? Yes you're hurt and in pain but at the end of the day, the other person didn't seek out the cheater and the other person does not owe you anything. The cheater is the one that made the promise to you. The cheater owes you answers. Why seek out the other person?  So they can see you in pain. Come on! Have a little bit of pride. Don’t ever let anyone especially the other person see you in pain. Don’t create drama or make a scene. It's not worth in the long run. All you're doing is wasting your time; time that should be dedicated to reviewing the issues in your relationship. Besides, you don't know the lies that the cheater has been telling the other person. Don't assume that the other person knew.

Catching the cheater in the act - What's the point of this? To make a scene and cause commotion so they can understand how you feel? Let’s be real, they won’t understand what you’re feeling and they won’t care for it. At the end of the day, you look crazy. Have a little bit of pride and self-respect for yourself and don’t make a scene.

My advice: If you have a feeling that you’re being cheated on it’s probably true. Save your money, time and effort and don’t hire a PI. First start addressing the issues in your relationship with the person. If the person doesn’t make an effort to address the issues then you need to start loving yourself first. Put yourself and heart first because the cheater is not putting your needs and feelings first. You won’t be happy if you continue the marriage or relationship with the cheater. Trust is lost and it can’t be repair to the way it was. You will ALWAYS have the thought that your partner is going to cheat or is cheating on you. Honestly, living in a constant state of fear or worrying that your partner is going to cheat is no way to live. Start choosing yourself first and get out of the relationship. You WILL find someone that loves you and won’t cheat on you.

And if you have kids, make the right choice for them. You don’t want to teach your kids that cheating is acceptable and that you’re only in a marriage or relationship because they have an obligation to the kids. The kids will resent you for staying in an unhealthy marriage or relationship and will probably tell you later in life that you should have gotten a divorce or should have let the cheater. The last thing a kid wants to see is that their parents are unhappy and hate each other. Is that what you want to teach the kids? As I always say, “Life is too short to be anything but happy.”